Our “shadow” is not something to fear, but something to put out in front of us and welcome. I’m not going to go into a lengthy description of what our shadow is because that’s been done before on this Crucible blog. You can check it out here and here. Simply put, our shadow is whatever … Continued

“I’ll try to be home by 6:00.” “I’ll try to have this project done by end of next week.” “I’m trying to stop smoking.” What do all these “try” statements have in common? Before I give you my take, let me tell you why I’m thinking about “I’ll try” right now. A man recently told me he was going to “try” … Continued

You may have heard the saying that, “You’re the sum of the five people you spend the most time with.”  Maybe before the internet age that was true, but it’s really not true anymore.  I think today what’s true is, “You are the sum of what you look at.”  The idea used to be if you hung around … Continued

In initiatory men’s work, we are initiating men into a number of things, including a new awareness of their feelings. And we often forget that this is just a beginning. We are “igniting Christ-like change” by helping men be more aware of their feelings as Jesus was. And we often forget that awareness is an … Continued

I’ve hit some walls.  My body disappoints me.  It hurts in places that never seemed to exist.  Despite occasionally working out, I gain weight, my cholesterol goes up, and my strength lessens.  My health problems get more and more serious as I age. Work doesn’t excite me as much.  And I teach high school students, … Continued



During a meeting I had with a student today, I set out a bowl of stress balls on the table in front of us. The student — we’ll call him Eric — was in trouble for how he behaved during an interaction with a fellow student. Eric called him a name. He grabbed him by … Continued

The other night, I struggled to get to sleep. I was tossing and turning, nervous about an upcoming meeting at work. I knew the meeting was likely to be contentious, and I would have to step into my discomfort and set a boundary if I was going to get what I wanted.  Hence, the struggle … Continued

An often overlooked aspect of leadership are the two ideas of the advancing of leaders and succession.  Good organizations have leader training and succession plans.  In fact, some companies must have a succession plan in place in order to receive certain certifications and or accreditation.  I have noticed among my coaching clients that several have … Continued

It seemed so obvious. Recently, I was reading a book that noted that many new Christians enter the church having long-standing impaired maturity and relational skills. The author then wrote, “Simple conversion does not provide the missing brain skills they need for healthy relationships, any more than salvation will make them suddenly literate.” I had … Continued

One of our most basic human needs is to love and be loved. I have never had a problem with that first part. I have always given love freely. But I still struggle being on the receiving end of love. There is something about being loved that just doesn’t seem right. In my recovery journey, … Continued